Flower Power

For the Week of August 11, 2008
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Flower Power
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When I saw Kate with 4 different bouquets of white flowers and stressing over which one to choose, I couldn't really relate as they all just looked like white flowers to me.

I think I must be missing a vital female gene. There are things that many women care about that I do not care about, even a little. When I saw Kate with 4 different bouquets of white flowers and stressing over which one to choose, I couldn't really relate as they all just looked like white flowers to me. Some ladies at my office had a bunch of paint swatches and asked me to help them choose a color for the walls. There was linen white, eggshell white, snowy December white, and I just looked at them like they were from another planet. Is this really a decision people spend time on? Women like Kate, yes. Women like me, no.

Kate's endless catalogs of champagne flutes and fabric samples and all the details are so meaningless to me - love is the key here. If the guy you want to spend the rest of your life with is standing there in the same room with you, marry him already. Grab a flight to Vegas and let Elvis marry you, have Clarice get a one day ordination certificate on the internet and let her perform the ceremony. Think Nike. Just do it. If I were Kate and had finally been reunited with the love of my life after years of separation, I would be married by now. I would definitely not be losing any sleep over whether to carry white roses vs. white lilies.

I also wouldn't be trying to take my blonde self into the middle of a mob neighborhood to single-handedly break up a drug ring. Nadine's attempts to impress Nikolas with her Veronica Mars girl detective act are bound to get her into serious trouble, which will undoubtedly require Nikolas rescuing her. I didn't care for Nadine when she first appeared; in fact you may recall I called her No Name Nurse for a long time because I was certain she wouldn't be around long enough to bother learning her character's name. I was wrong, she is still here and she has grown on me over the months. But this past week or so while she is breaking into the Police Commissioner's house and skulking around in dark alleys on the waterfront makes me want to call her No Name again. But she redeemed herself by kissing Nikolas. Huzzah, Nadine!

Since Sam has been sticking up for Nadine with Nikolas, and since Sam is also running her own undercover investigation, perhaps they are gearing up to have Nadine and Sam embark on their own P.I. business? If Brenda and Lois opened their own record label, why can't Sam and Nadine pull it off?

Not one who likes to be left out, Carly was trying to pull off her own sting and get information for Jason on Karpov. Much to Carly's dismay, he had other ideas in mind like taking her on a drive to a creepy deserted warehouse. If that's his idea of game, I can see why all of his women meet tragic ends when they try to flee from his freaky dates. Jason arrived to rescue Carly just in the nick of time although she thought she had things under control and that Jason had overreacted. Carly managed to get Karpov's PDA. I suppose when he realizes it's missing he will tell Natasha he hates that moose and squirrel.

Sonny was none too pleased to discover that Karpov was moving drugs through Port Charles. It seems to me if you had been in the mob for most of your life like Sonny had, and knew the names of all the players worldwide - wouldn't it be common knowledge in Mob circles what products Karpov was peddling? I think Sonny needs to find his own Spinelli to do research on his future business transactions. How can someone of his experience be so gullible? I think he may be off his meds, as I have seen him drinking. Anyone else?

Jason confronted Sonny about his dealings with Karpov and Sonny used the "I can't believe you don't trust me" line. Well, of course Jason doesn't trust you Sonny, you went into business with someone who is a known threat to Jason and kept it to yourself. For those of you who did not grow up in church like I did, that's called a lie of omission.

I think Sonny has good intentions. I know he is angry at Jason about siding with Carly after Michael's shooting, but I honestly don't think he would enter into any partnership that would hurt Jason knowingly. Trouble is Karpov is not an honorable man and can't be trusted. I am reminded of the Jerry Maguire movie where the dad of a football player shakes hands with Jerry and tells him "My word is like oak" and then proceeds to signs with someone else. Karpov told Sonny his word was like oak, but in reality his word was... giant crates of cocaine. Everything he told Sonny thus far has been a lie.

Lulu and Johnny are also embroiled in a web of lies. They are not Joe and Linda from Chicago, and it will be even harder for them to pull off that lie because Lulu keeps letting out blood curdling screams when she hallucinates about Dead Bloody Logan.

Dead Bloody Logan is far more talented than real Logan - the dead version can play piano and bake birthday cakes and randomly beam himself around the apartment. The live Logan could not do any of those things.

On top of all their other problems, they are now saddled with babysitting Lourdes. What kind of Uncle is Sal? He just took off and left his teenaged niece with people he has known for 2 days. Oh wait; he's the kind of guy that would get involved in some gang shooting when he is the sole care giver for an orphan. I guess taking that into consideration, leaving the kid with the piano playing stranger doesn't seem so bad.

Lulu left the apartment and it's clear she needs lessons from Luke on disguises. Lulu doesn't have her dad's 'Dr. Von Schemerman' flair. Instead she was trying the mimic the lame Superman sort of disguises like parting her hair on the opposite side and wearing a cap. Johnny was worried about where she had gone, but he stayed calm and waited to hear from her despite Lourdes's not so innocent suggestion that the two of them head for the border.

Lulu had a very moving conversation with the back of Laura's head. I am not even convinced they have a head in that wig anymore, I think it's just a wig on a hat stand or something. At any rate, I would be remiss if I didn't talk about Julie Marie Berman's heartfelt performance in those scenes. That girl sure knows how to emote. When she is given great material, she rises to the occasion every time. I hope she receives more scenes where she is soul searching like the ones with Laura's wig, and fewer scenes where she has to scream like a banshee while seeing the creepy ghost of Dead Bloody Logan.

What will happen tomorrow dear readers? Will Anna and Noah remember they are 50 and have money for a hotel room and don't have to make out in the hospital mop closet? Will Anthony Zacharra really ask the equally twisted Tracy Q out on a date? Will Sam remember that Sonny slept with both her and her mother Alexis and stop acting so fake shocked and disgusted when Jerry hits on her? Will I remember writing this tomorrow after those Appletinis tonight? Will Matt go grocery shopping so Maxie will stop screeching about her stupid cheese enchilada? Will Spinelli realize Jason's office chair isn't really an amusement park ride? Will Claudia and the gun in her purse make it through the police metal detectors next time she visits someone in lock up?

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Two Scoops is an opinion column. The views expressed are not designed to be indicative of the opinions of Soap Central or its advertisers. The Two Scoops section allows our Scoop staff to discuss what might happen and what has happened, and to share their opinions on all of it. They stand by their opinions and do not expect others to share the same point of view.

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